2015. január 3., szombat

Secret Dharma Transmission in Kwan Um School of Zen by emails PART 1 (angol levelezés)

Secret Dharma Transmission in Kwan Um School of Zen by emails

Fri, 21 Jul 2000 - Thu, 16 Nov 2000

From: Stanley Huang (tamkyu@hotmail.com) To: Robert Hegedus (robi@zen.hu)
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PART 1 - Fri, 21 Jul 2000 - Tue, 8 Aug 2000
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SH: Fri, 21 Jul 2000 21:16:08 PDT

When the clock stop working, what do you feel at that moment?

HR: Tue, 25 Jul 2000 13:36:46 +0200

Dear Stanley! Thank you your letter. You asked: When the clock stop working, what do you feel at that moment? My answer: I don't know. Your question is not good, not bad, it's a don't know question. Don't know means cut the thinking mind and the true world appears. The true world means everything is emptiness. The emptiness means, the sky is blue, the grass is green. That means, save all beings from the suffering. Do you understand? I don't understand. So send the bike. In the dharma Robi

SH: Tue, 25 Jul 2000 05:20:58 PDT

I am not going anywhere so I don't need a bike.

SH: Tue, 25 Jul 2000 05:41:32 PDT

Text: The Four Noble Truths by His Holiness the Fourteenth Dalai Lama...

SH: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 00:14:40 PDT

REALISING THE MIND

Now, I just want to talk about some of the keys in practice the Dharma.

Many people now days clings onto words and description but they do not know what the Dharma is. It is like someone who sees the moon's reflection as the moon itself. The reflection of the moon is just an illusion, like words and concepts, they are not Dharma.

The mind is the Buddha. Outside mind, no Buddha, no Dharma. The smart people knows that there are no path to follow, no teaching to practice while the ignorant ones sees the Buddha as reality and the Dharma is the path to attain the Buddhahood. Whether is the Buddha or the Dharma all exist because of our mind. It is because we know that there is Buddha so that we set forth so many path to attain this. But the path is just our own imagination, something we created, they are purely illusion.

The Dharma is pure and thoughtless. It cannot be described in words. It is certainly beyond our imagination and conceptual reasoning. If one engage in reasoning and practice the Dharma all day, he will not realise his own mind, the thoughtless mind. If one lived freely without grasping and searching, then, every moments his mind are enlightened without any errors or confusion. All the path is something people created. Because of all these, we created trouble and confusion. If we lived freely without any fixation, without following this or that, then all our problem will disappear.

Mind is the Buddha. All the path to enlightenment are just a tool, not the enlightened mind or nature itself. If one wants to see the mind, he must forgo everything that he sees, hears and thinks. At this stage, nothing can effect you. You will not be attach to anything you are experiencing.

Even if one have all the knowledge about the Dharma, he is no better than the one who realised the mind. Mind is the Buddha. In order to see the mind, he must be thoughtless. If you cling onto the old master's words and teaching, how can you realised the mind. If you always follows other people's footstep, how can you realise your own pure nature. Therefore, all words and description are pretty useless. We must throw them away before they mislead us.

Some people thought that emptiness is sitting in a meditation and visualise something you aimed for in order to experience it directly. This is also the wrong path. May I ask, what is there to realise, what is their to practice. If you sit and try to understand and experience emptiness, then you are already grasping emptiness, and that is not emptiness. What is emptiness. It is the mind. If one must realise emptiness, he must be free from all thoughts and actions, he must realise the emptiness.

In actual fact, emptiness cannot be found in meditation. Emptiness can only be seen when one does not engage in any form of practice. When one can see the emptiness nature of all things, that is emptiness. All phenomenal including the stars, the moon, the mountain, the tree, all good and bad people, and so forth are all emptiness. They are all pure and thoughtless. Even our own ignorance and delusions are all pure and emptiness.

What is the Dharma? To be free from learning and attainments is the Dharma. The path has no gates, no levels and no stages. If you try to attain something, you are already aimed at something that is beyond the reality, which is an illusion. To understand the mind, everything have to be destroyed, even the Buddha. When this is done, you can attain the unborn.

You know, in this world, no one have actually realise their mind. Many people engage in all kinds of study, reasoning and practice, but no one have actually see their own enlightened nature. They all cling onto words and form. They don't see their nature directly. The reality of the mind is actually formless and wordless. If one wants to see it, they have to throw everything in the rubbish bin because they are all useless. Even the mind have to be thrown away otherwise you will also cling onto them.

SH: Fri, 28 Jul 2000 17:04:18 PDT

How would you interpret the word "Mu"?

HR: Sat, 29 Jul 2000 17:37:07 +0200

Mu is mu, and don't know.

SH: Sat, 29 Jul 2000 16:20:44 PDT

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The don't know mind is the whole entire ocean.

HR: Sun, 30 Jul 2000 15:33:20 +0200

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK BUDDHA, FUCK DAE KWANG SUNIM, FUCK DAE SONSANIM, FUCK EVERYBODY,FUCK STANLEY HUANG, FUCK HEGEDUS ROBERT, FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

I wrote a poem to fucking you:

I don't know who are you and what do you.

You asked me what is Mu, I answered Mu is Mu?

And your laughing touched me,

Now I know that, you are me.

About you and me:

Many kalpas we are always same then,

many kalpas we are always same there,

many kalpas we are always same that,

many kalpas we are always same do.

FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

COME ON FUCKING MAN, CAN YOU HELP ME???????????

COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW CAN YOU HELP????????????????

SH: Sun, 30 Jul 2000 19:52:43 PDT

The sky is very clear. Why do you want help? Anyway, although you can insult Buddha, but you cannot insult the beautiful clear sky. Otherwise, you will also be betrayed by the Buddha.

HR: Sun, 30 Jul 2000 19:47:44 +0200

Your question: when the clock stop working, what do you feel at that moment? Don't know and I'm writing letter to you.

My question: when open my eyes at morning, one big question appears in my mind: what is my job, what do I do today? It's a very big question, many times appears and suffers me. If you are me, what can you do?

SH: Sun, 30 Jul 2000 21:32:27 PDT

Well, don't worry about the future. I think many people worry about what course they are going to do or which uni to get in when they are in school. When they get into uni, they worry about will they get a job which they wanted or desired for. When they get a job, then, they worry about family matters. When they are old, they worry how are they going to do with the rest of the lives and with the money they make, what are they going to do about it? I'm in, when you're old and you know that you have not much time left to spend your money and you can't bring it with you after you passed away, then you worry about it? This cycles goes on and on forever.

I think as human beings, we are much more intelligent than the animals and much fortune than them. But even though we are intelligent and much more educated than them, sometimes, we are not as happy than them. This is because sometimes we are not feeling very greatful in our achievement and the material benefits we have these days. Think about it, these days, we have all the technologies, cars, hot water system, computers and so forth which makes our lives much easier than the past. As time goes by, we are getting more and more intelligent each day and material development progress which make our lives more enjoyable and I think that we should feel appreciate to the benefits we get from all these goods and people who contribute in providing to all our daily needs.

Another important things that I think is important to mention is that people worry about would they be able to earn enough $ not just to satisfy daily needs, but to also live in a very comfortable and enjoyable life. Many people wants good accompany, good health, a lovely car, a nice, expensive clothing and so forth so they become worried about whether they will be able to have all these things and when they are able to buy a very good car, they want to buy a better one that is faster and better quality and they will never be satisfied or be happy of what you have. It also build up a big pressure to those people since that they are having lots and lots of wants to be fulfilled.

In our everyday life, we all have our responsibilities not just for the sake of ourselves but also for others such as our family or people we are close to and so forth. So everyday when we wake up, immediately, we think about all of our responsibilities and sometimes, we become discouarged about it and sometimes we might even be fearful about it. But all of these will not do you much good or in other words, you will not gain any benefits from feeling discouage, fearful, worried and so forth about it. The best and the most efficient things that you can do to satisfy yourself and others is to build up more confidnece and really concentrate on what you are suppose to be doing in a way that is efficient. If you cannot solve any problem, by becoming worried or agitated will not help you solve problem. In fact, it will only make the situation even worse because of your negative attitudes towards handling a situation. So it is extremely important at least to gain some confidence and think in a more positive way such as " I can do it." because once you are able to think in a more positive way, you are able to discover your own personal potential that you may not discovered before because of lacking of self-confidence. So, doesn't matter what you do, self-confidence is very important. There is a Chinese saying that " if you are in a battle with your enemy, if you have self-confidence, you have already won half of the battle." This may sound a bit over exaggerated but this is true in the fact that gaining self-confidence is very important. When you are in a fight, sometimes even a smaller guy can win when they are fighting against a bigger guy because of his confidence. So, no matter what you do, confidence is the key. If you are discouraged, how can you put in 100% of effort in what you are doing? How can you use all the potential you have got? People may challenge this argument saying: " I'm an athlete and I trained very hard everyday in a way that is most efficient with confidence and strong momentum but I still cannot see any improvement in running." But you have to know, although changes cannot be seen suddenly, but it will happen gradually. It takes time. If you are patient and prepared to put effort, then things will happen. You will build more skills and experience as you put more effort in. Big changes will not happen suddenly, but as you put effort into and always have positive attitudes, as time goes by, you can see small changes and gradually, and whatever your goals might be, you can achieve through your own personal attitudes.

Let me tell you a story. Once, there is a guy who lost all his arms during a accident. But in the end, he is able not just to write his own name, but he is able to make beautiful painting as well. In the beginning, I am not really convinced about it, but when he show us the painting he has drawn, I was pretty surprised about it. People ask, how can you make all these great paintings without arms. He said: " very simple, everyday, you get a brush, put it in your mouth and practice it. In the beginning, you might even have trouble putting a brush in your mouth without your arms, but as time goes by, you will learn more and more slowly. Every effort you put in will bring a tiny bits of achievement until one day, you learn more and more gradually and you will develop your own skills and techniques." He said, this may be simple thing to say, but it is very hard for people to actually practice it. I mean, people who have lost both of their arms who will feel very discouraged and they will not lived happily and learn drawing and making a formal speech and so forth. But through confidence, all these problems he faced can be overcome. So in Chinese, there is a saying: " Nothing is impossible if you put your mind into it." But to put your mind into something, first, you must generate confidence. Use the feelings of fear and discouragement in a way that we generate more confidence, than, you will see the benefits from it.

Well, of course, in Buddhism, we believe in law of karma and every feelings we are experiencing now such as joy, anger, discouragement and so forth is based on the actions from the past or a cause. Therefore, we understand that every effect must dependant on the cause. Everything must dependant on cause. So during times where we are suffering badly, the best thing that we can do is to change our condition through our own thoughts which is the cause of bringing happiness and one of the important key is confidence. Of course, there are lots of factors involved which we be much more complicated than this, but confidence is one of the most important key of finding happiness and avoid suffering. Confidence is the key to fulfill your own goal. It is extremely important.

Well, I don't know what exactly is your situation but I hope that I have helped you. Thanks for your time reading all these and hope it gives you more confidence about it. As we said in Buddhism, every beings is experiencing suffering endlessly, the most important things is to use our time wisely through compassion, confidence and wisdom in order to bring more happiness.

HR: Mon, 31 Jul 2000 06:07:05 +0159

I red your writing of the realising the mind. That's great. Now, I know that, your are also realized same thing like me. I am happy because I'm not alone this thing. Now, I would like to explain to you, what happened with me. This winter, I tried again to get enlightenment, and practiced hard. This time, I red the Six patriarch, Huj Neng Sutra. This text touched me very deeply. The first time, when I red, one question appeared. "Why cannot I get enlightenment, and how could Huj Neng get Buddha mind without any practice and learning Buddhism." I was very angry, and could not to practice. And I continued the reading the book, and when attain that stage, where Huj Neng teaching, I was totally confused. Huj Neng said: "I only teach the true essence of the mind. The true essence of the mind is the "like this"(tathagata)". Huj Neng's mind hit me, and I didn't understand nothing. Three days I could not sleep, eat, only one question, what is my mind true essence? And after, at night I was very tired, I slept. And then I understood, perceived everything. Look around, and everything was clear, everything was emptiness. And I breath in, breath out. And I looked better the brightness, and it was empty, very empty. I understood the life and death, the root, the zen circle, the thoughtless, the free thinking, everything. Now days, this changed. Sometimes, when a sound or anything else hit me, then my mind is clear at the moment. I know that, I found a great thing, and in my life nobody understand this.

Actually, the Buddhists say good karma. I was 15 when meet the Buddhism. Now, I'm 29 and I got the truth. What can I do? In my life, I was not too lucky with masters. I always practiced alone without masters. I don't know the koans. Many peoples don't like me. Why? I know. I'm the way, the truth and the life. The peoples don't like the way, the truth and the life.

SH: Mon, 31 Jul 2000 18:18:10 PDT

Well, you know, all the zen masters in ancient China always claims that the truth cannot be studied and explained. They are teaching the most profound path in order to help people realised emptiness. They stress heavily on koans which in zen school, is the way to enlightenment.

When they say everything is emptiness, then, a question arises, if all phenomenal is emptiness, why do we do all these learning and studying. Why does monks from other tradition engaged in studying and devotion in their daily life? They all claim that to realised emptiness, one must understand the fundamental teachings first such as dependant-origination, law of karma and so forth so that your faith and foundation is strong. Many of the people lived in the monastic life claims that the three trainings-ethics, concentration and wisdom is a very important path. If everything is emptiness, then, why do we do all of these practice and studying?

Well, the fact that all the phenomenal is emptiness is the key to help us to see the reality without any sense of grasping or attachment. In Buddhism, our attachment is one of the main cause of suffering. To be free from grasping and attachment, they used these method to help us realised our own nature. Therefore, all good zen masters does not neglect the important of study and practice because they have their benefits as well. But when they mean that the Buddha, Dharma and so forth should be destroyed, it is the key of free ourselves from the grasping mind.

You see, many of zen masters in China are great scholars like Lin-Chi. Even though he emphasis the importance of realising the mind, he have a good knowledge of the monastic vows and the teaching of Buddhism. But they devote all their life focusing on koans and teaching these path because they believe that it is the key of realising the mind or our true nature.

So, even though if one is practice the zen path and the koan work, it is important that they should also understand the teachings of the Buddha. They should also take vows and practice on basic principles. They should also generate a strong sense of cherishing others. Because since the zen sect is a Mahayana lineage, they should also trained in the fundamental path as well as practice the profound path.

The six patriarch is actually has a high realisation before he had engaged in Buddhist practice. Even though he have not done any study at all, you see, he does have some knowledge of Buddhist teaching. For instance, when the monks were having a dispute of whether or not that the it is the wind that caused the flag moving, or it is the flag that caused the wind moving, the six patriarch said:" neither is the flag or the moon is moving, it is your mind that is moving." He also said:" Everything in these world is dependant on a cause. Thesefore all the existing phenomenal is inter-dependant on one another. Nothing can exist by itself. Therefore when you see yourself through the mirror, you must have a mirror to see your own reflection, otherwise, you cannot see your own reflection." But then he also said:" The teaching of dependant-origination is the fundamental teaching of the Buddha. The most profound teaching of the Buddha is that all beings have Buddha nature. " Do you remember when the six patriarch have received transmission from the fifth patriarch, he said: "Ah, all the phenomenal are our Buddha nature. All our phenomenal is emptiness. All the phenomenal is essentially pure." You see, although he have not much education, but he does have knowledge of the Buddhist paths and this I think is because that he have study really hard and do some practice in his previous life which the energy, realisation and memories has kept with him to his new life.

So, when the great masters speak of thoughtless, they do not mean that studying is not necessary because many of the masters themselves does engage in study and many of them are scholars. But they said that deliberatley "no studying, no practice" is to let the student be free from fixation. Just like the Buddha said: " doesn't matter how faithful you are, if you cannot be free from fixation, then, you will not achieve liberation (Nirvana)."

So, the purpose of practice the basic path is to build up our faith and foundation and actually create lots and lots of merits to help us realised emptiness. Since our feelings such as joy, anger and so forth are based on our karmaic forces, it is important to create merits to drive our experience to realise emptiness. That's why when two people might see the same things from same angle, but the way they see the thing and the feelings towards the object is totally different and this is based on karma.

But understanding the fundamental path and practice it perfectly is not enough. One must also practice on the profound path in order to realised emptiness. This is done through koan training. This is why that many zen master tell the student to meditate on koans, a way to shapened their minds up and realised emptiness. Once they can have a good answer for the question that the master gave them, then, they have some experience of the path.

Zen master like philosophical questions such as "who are you or what do you look like before you are born". In the beginning, the student cannot answer the question because a philosophical approach is not the key of answering the question. So they become puzzled. When they realised that the masters are not really interested in an explaination of these question and rather, they want you to see the mind without any thought and motives, the student are able develop a way of answering the question using ones intention. So when Lin-chi had experienced of the path, he slap the master in the face to show the master of his realisation.

Anyway, I pass you down the five merits which I think you should practice. They are: killing your mother, killing your father, killing the Buddha, destroying the monastic institution and buring the teaching of the Buddha. These are five great merits which needs to be focus on.

Killing your mother: Mother means ignorance. When you have right understanding, you killed your mother.

Killing the father: Father means greed. When you have not have any thought of greed, you killed your father.

Kill the Buddha: When your mind is pure, you killed Buddha.

Destroy the monastic institution: When you are free from attachment, you have destroy the monastic institution.

Burn the teaching of the Buddha: When you realised emptiness, you have burnt the teaching of the Buddha.

Anyway, you should practice these five path. You should also continue work on the koans and teach your experience of the koans to other people who are interested in the zen path. Since zen is a Mahayana linage, the key is to work for the benefits of others, it is 100% essential to teach the path for those who are willing to practice it and who are well prepared for it. OK then, now, I will smash my computer screen into bits and pieces. Let me ask you a question, "Do you really need to become the Buddha itself in order to experience what is like to become a Buddha?" Think about it.

HR: Mon, 31 Jul 2000 15:07:46 +0200

Thanks your letter. You helped me very much. You gave me much power to believing myself, and your words hit my mind. Only one man could cause this. Are you that? Are you there? What do you think, why cannot I perceive every moments the absolute truth, and how can I step with my true nature moment to moment?

SH: Mon, 31 Jul 2000 18:24:00 PDT

Why do I think. Well, if I tell you, I will be a blind man. Take care.

SH: Mon, 31 Jul 2000 18:26:37 PDT

You ask, how can you step with your true nature at every moment. Easy. Just see the rain falling down from the sky every time you have breakfast. Take care.

HR: Tue, 1 Aug 2000 16:14:09 +0200

"Do you really need to become the Buddha itself in order to experience what is like to become a Buddha?"

I am Buddha. Since when I met the Buddha teaching, only one thing begin growing in myself, a desire, a question, something strong: enlightenment, get enlightenment, what is enlightenment. 10 years practicing zen was only one thing is important: enlightenment. I was very surprised, when I go practicing, everybody wants other, becoming a zen master, a teacher, knowing koans answers, money, harmony, big sangha, practicing etc., but in myself only one question: what is enlightenment? The enlightenment is most important for me, no more. I don't want to speak nothing else about only the Buddha mind. The Buddha mind is my life. Only the Buddha mind exits for me. I gave up everything, my business, my family, my life, my zen school, so I am like a beggar, I have nothing, I don't need nothing, only one thing.

But, many times I tried to get the Buddha mind, never could not get it. I never gave up. I am very suffer without Buddha. I perceived sometimes the truth, but I don't know what is that, and how can I get it. My life is nothing without truth. So, only the Buddha exits nothing else. I suffer without Buddha.

SH: Tue, 01 Aug 2000 04:58:26 PDT

"Do you really need to become the Buddha itself in order to experience what is like to become a Buddha? I am Buddha."

Why provoke Buddha?

HR: Tue, 1 Aug 2000 17:07:54 +0200

"Why provoke Buddha?" What is Buddha?

I need only Buddha, so keep your fucking dharma combat yourself and your students. If you cannot give me the Buddha, get out.

Your are very interesting. Like some zen master. Speaking nice, good things, has patient, but sometimes hit. PUFF!! I don't know, who are you, and what are you doing in my life, perhaps you are a byte, or a mail demon in my computer, I don't know, but every time when I switch on the machine, you are there. Very very interesting.

It's like that my question, what am I. That is always appear in my mind, like you.

SH: Tue, 01 Aug 2000 18:00:19 PDT

If you want Buddha, you have already lost the battle. I think you should work more on the koans to experience your own Buddha nature. Tell me, who is it that wants to be enlightened? If you can't answer the question, then you might as well get back to your own home.

HR: Wed, 2 Aug 2000 12:25:03 +0200

I know and you know, the koans not important. Only the truth is important. Only the form, emptiness, and Buddha are important. Only the three things are important. Only realizing the truth, the freedom, freedom from form, emptiness, no hindrance, and our essence standing alone are important. I know, and you know this exactly. Very few people understand this. You know these, and I am very happy to meeting with you, and your teaching and advising is the deepest what I got ever. You are me, I am you. But we know exactly you are you, and I am me.

But we are always in the emptiness. You and me doesn't exist. We are always same thing, at same time, in same place, in same action. You know exactly what is this. The life, the emptiness, and we.

You are old man. You created many Great things in your life. I will continue our job, and I never left the bodhisattva way. Thank you very much your inspiration, your power your teaching. Your are my grandfather, and I am the bad kid, who lost his toy. I accept your advise.

Don't leave me. Told me, I need kongan. Which kongan?

SH: Wed, 02 Aug 2000 14:45:39 +0200

A Zen Greeting Card for You.

Kill all Buddhas, kill all Dharmas, kill all Sanghas, kill all bodhisattwas, all eminent teachers, kill everybody. Live in the Ocean like a fish.

HR: Thu, 3 Aug 2000 09:23:50 +0200

When must I go to mountain?

SH: Thu, 03 Aug 2000 04:07:49 PDT

Text: Three Principals of the Path Part 6 by Venerable Ribur Rinpoche...

HR: Thu, 3 Aug 2000 20:22:01 +0200

You are my master. I belive you. You can see me the true nature.

SH: Thu, 3 Aug 2000 17:56:42 -0700

Please don't eat my shit. Eat your own food.

HR: Fri, 4 Aug 2000 07:43:03 +0200

OK. I don't make anything, and I follow only the God.

SH: Thu, 03 Aug 2000 23:06:14 PDT

Why follow the monster?

HR: Fri, 4 Aug 2000 14:06:20 +0200

What monster do I follow?

SH. Fri, 04 Aug 2000 05:51:23 PDT

Don't put too much things in your truck.

HR: Fri, 4 Aug 2000 16:41:44 +0200

"Do you really need to become the Buddha itself in order to experience what is like to become a Buddha?"

I understood what do you want to say. The whole universe is my mind, I create the world, the sky, the mountains, so everything.I wanted to try, what is like to become a Buddha. Like an adventure.I was curious before I born. So I know this, and two question is appear: How you is my world, who are you? How can I get back my original body?

SH: Fri, 4 Aug 2000 17:28:23 -0700

Straight through the roof.

HR: Sat, 5 Aug 2000 06:55:37 +0200

Anything more?

SH: Fri, 4 Aug 2000 23:28:24 -0700

The wind is blowing at everyone's heart.

Today, when I was in meditation, I concentrated on lots of questions such as "Who am I", "Where was I born" and so forth. Suddenly, I heard the wind blowing outside of my room. Then, I began to visualise the wind as the Buddha, purifying everyone's thoughts and help all beings realise their emptiness nature. I began to realise that everywhere around me are full of wind like the Buddha blowing stongly at everyone's delusions, attachment and ignorance to realise their own emptiness mind. It was a joyful experience which I had and I want to shared with you. Anyway, I still got a lot to learn.

The wind is blowing at everyone's heart.

HR: Sat, 5 Aug 2000 10:07:07 +0200

You are true. I don't forget you. I love you.

HR. Sat, 5 Aug 2000 14:01:20 +0200

Do you have certitude about me?

SH: Sat, 5 Aug 2000 16:06:46 -0700

Well, I think you still need more Oranges on your dinner table.

SH: Mon, 7 Aug 2000 05:05:54 -0700

The Daily Thought. Stanley has sent you a free greeting card!

SH: Tue, 8 Aug 2000 05:44:11 -0700

If you want to get hold of the path, then, you should stop searching for enlightenment. The more you search for things, the more you lose the truth. To realised the path, just be mindless then, everything that appeared to your mind will be pure because there are no grasping. But if any doubt arise, confusion and attachment will follow. Even if one have lots of knowledge is no better than person who is mindless because whatever you understand, it is all illusions.

The most important is to realised the mind. Mind is empty. If any thoughts arise, you will lose the pure mind.

SH: Tue, 8 Aug 2000 06:16:21 -0700

"Why provoke Buddha? What is Buddha?

I need only Buddha, so keep your fucking dharma combat yourself and your students. If you cannot give me the Buddha, get out. Your are very interesting. Like some zen master. Speaking nice, good things, has patient, but sometimes hit. PUFF!! I don't know, who are you, and what are you doing in my life, perhaps you are a byte, or a mail demon in my computer, I don't know, but every time when I switch on the machine, you are there. Very very interesting. It's like that my question, what am I. That is always appear in my mind, like you."

If I ever wonder question such as " Who am I", I will be a dead man walking on the street. Take care.

SH: Tue, 8 Aug 2000 06:21:54 -0700

"What monster do I follow? "

You are getting a bit closer to your home. I met a monster in the river bank and if anyone try to cross the river, he will eat the person. What will you do if you want to cross the river? (Remember, one needs enough self-confidence about the path to cross the river. If there are any doubts about whether or not you can cross the river, you are already eaten by the monster. It's big challenge.)


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